wouldn’t change a thing…maybe

My husband and I are way past the newlywed phase.

This October we will have been married 13 years.

If I had it to do all over again I wouldn’t change a lot, but the options for personalization and making your wedding YOURS are truly endless.

Just a quick search on Pinterest will give you all kinds of DIY wedding ideas, tutorials, and inspiring photos.

When we were planning our wedding I thought we were stepping waaaay out of the box by sending our save the date as a newsletter with stories about how we met, etc, our rehearsal dinner invitations on post cards, and {gasp} square wedding invites!

For instance, have you visited Minted, yet?

They have some of the most amazing invites designed by independent designers.

I might have chosen something like this…

or this…

or this…

or, maybe this…

No matter what, there is definitely more to choose from!

Not only does Minted.com offer beautiful invites, but you can also view customer- and designer-created inspiration boards.

For weddings…

Northwest Media Photography by Jenny, see more Minted.com

Northwest Media Photography board by Jenny. See more Minted.com

…babies…

Nesting Bird by fatfatin, see more baby shower invitations on Minted

Nesting Bird board by fatfatin. See more baby shower invitations on Minted

…home…


…and holidays.

Holiday Card by Lauren, see more Minted

Holiday Card board by Lauren. See more Minted


In fact, we ordered our Christmas cards from Minted last year!

And, wouldn’t you know it, we sent out a post card!

how about a giveaway?

Minted would like to give one of you $50 towards a Minted purchase!

To enter, answer one of the following questions as a comment:

If you could change one thing about your wedding what would it be?

or

If you are dreaming about, or planning a wedding, what is one of the must haves for your special day?

 

Deadline is Wednesday, May 1st at 9pm Pacific.

Winner will be announced on Thursday, May 2nd!

home is…time flies when you’re having fun.

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pfabulous photography

We had a family photo mini session on Sunday evening with a local portland momma and fabulous photographer, Jenn, of Pfaus Photography.

We met through Instagram, and when I saw that she was doing mini-sessions I signed up.

We have not had professional family photos taken in three years, so it was time.

Here are a few preview photos…

home is…pfamily photos.

a beautiful day

Yesterday we took a trip up to the mountain where the sun was shining.

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Reece got up on skis for the third year in a row!

We’re ready to hand him off to some instructors next time so he can really learn, but I think he is doing awesome.

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Lorelai  wasn’t ready to start skiing, but she had fun playing in the snow and making a fashion statement.

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Don’t be surprised if you start to see tutu’s over ski pants all over the slopes!

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She liked spinning, not skiing.

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Both of them liked throwing snowballs.

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It was a beautiful day!

home is…lots of smiles.

joy to the…

It wasn’t supposed to rain yesterday and we didn’t have any big plans so I proposed that we take some Christmas card photos in the backyard.

Easy enough.

Gather branches that have fallen from the Douglas Firs, write a little something on the outdoor chalkboard, and throw in a little vintage red.

joy to the world

Oh, and how about some globes?! Yes, perfect!

Joy to the world!

Get on the trikes.

Move a little closer.

Lorelai, stop looking at your brother.

Reece, stop making funny faces.

Fine.

Everybody look at somebody else and make a funny face.

We look happy, but I had just stepped in the middle of his parenting. It’s all starting to go downhill.

The kids wanted to take more photos…meaning, they wanted to use the camera.

Lorelai took some of the boys.

Reece took some of the girls.

And, then the joy was gone.

It lasted all of five minutes.

We may have gotten one good family shot.

home is…a gold star for effort.

he’s my hero

Ya’ll.

Yeah. Ya’ll.

Well, after more than one glass of wine I get a “Southern Drawl”. Some might call it a slur, but I like to call it a drawl.

So, ya’ll…

My husband impresses me daily.

I don’t write specifically about him because this blog is mine, not his.

His business is his, not mine.

So, I mention him, but don’t necessarily write about him.

Anyway, I have to tonight because he told me an awesome story.

He flies for work.

No, he’s not a pilot, but he is on an airplane every week. Multiple times (and thanks to this we get perks like flying first class to Maui).

Anyway, he was on a flight home today…flying first class…which he deserves for how much he travels.

During one of the announcements the flight attendant mentioned that you could add a donation for Breast Cancer Awareness Month to your purchase of a snack or beverage.

In first class, you don’t purchase snacks or beverage.

Towards the end of the flight, Ryan asked one of the flight attendants about the donations. She said that people rarely make donations and that none had been made on the flight.

Ryan told her that he would like to make one.

She told him he could make a $1 or $5 donation.

He said, “I’d like to make a $50 donation.”

She burst into tears.

Someone she was close to was battling breast cancer.

Another flight attendant also knew someone fighting breast cancer.

And, the passenger next to Ryan knew someone fighting cancer.

Soon, one of the flight attendants walked by Ryan and said, “He’s the hero on this flight.”

“Oh, I’m no hero,” replied Ryan.

He just did what he felt was right.

I know him. He was going to make that $50 donation whether the whole flight had made donations or not.

That’s just who he is.

I love that man, and I am so blessed that he is mine.

home is…being blessed by the people in your life.

one foot in front of the other

I was feeling a little out of sorts this morning.

I’ve been itching to start my exercise routine up once again.

I want to be able to run 4-6 miles three times a week.

My plan was to get started this week, but I was frustrated with rain (I don’t run in the rain) and sick kids (which means no gym childcare).

Then the sun came out this morning.

I hit the pavement with Lorelai and the BOB.

Fresh air.

Blue sky.

Quiet.

I needed it.

I walked for over an hour.

I took occasional photos of the beautiful fall colors.

I let my mind go blank and just focused on what was in front of me.

It’s been months since I have exercised regularly.

Oh, who am I kidding?

It’s been months since I have exercised. Period.

I’m feeling it.

In my mood.

In my body.

I’m not going to go into why I stopped, but I know I want to get started again.

It felt good to put one foot in front of the other.

I am hoping we get another dry day tomorrow so I can do it again.

It felt fabulous.

So, I’m going to have to find a way to fit it all in.

All the things that make me feel good.

Exercise.

Thrifting.

Creating.

They make me a better person.

A better wife.

A better mom.

A better friend.

A better ME.

home is…hitting the pavement.

vulnerable

Don’t let the craftiness and thrifting goodness fool you.

I’m feeling completely vulnerable right now.

I’m just good at keeping appearances up.

I’ve been sick for three weeks. It started with a cold that turned into a sinus infection that is now a deep cough that I just can’t shake.I’ve been sick more than I can remember.Actually, the last time I remember getting sick this frequently was when I was a pre-teen. I had appendicitis, tonsillitis, and mono within just a couple years of each other. In the last year, I’ve had walking pneumonia, shingles, and this darn sinus infection.

I’m exhausted.

And, I’m vulnerable.

I feel like I am being attacked by my kids. Daily.

One won’t go to bed. Or, stay in bed. Or, obey.

One won’t go pee on the potty, Or, wear the clothes I pick for her. Or, let anybody but Mommy do anything.

I love my kids more than anything in the world, but being their mommy right now is very hard.

I get angry and resentful. I snap or use a not so nice tone of voice.

And, then I end up saying, “I’m sorry.”

I wish I didn’t have to say, “I’m sorry.”

I wish I just wouldn’t snap.

I wish I just wouldn’t us a not so nice tone of voice.

I feel like I am failing at my job.

So, I craft.

I thrift.

I do projects around the house.

Because I’m good at it. And, doing something I am good at makes me feel less vulnerable.

I get a rush of adrenaline when I am doing it.

It feeds my soul.

But, the laundry doesn’t get done.

And, the dishes are in the sink.

And, phone calls for doctors appointments don’t get made.

And, there’s nothing ready for dinner.

And, I haven’t worked out in months.

And, then there’s my husband, who I also love more than anything in the world. He is so good to me and the kids and works his butt off to provide for us. He is an amazing father and husband.

He travels for work almost every week which leaves me as a single parent on the average of 2-4 nights a week. The kids and I have our routine down and it has gotten a lot easier as they have gotten older.

However, I’m so exhausted from battling my kids, trying to be a good mom, and trying to feed my own soul, that I have NO energy left for my husband when he is home.

I get angry and resentful. I don’t feel like being intimate. I snap or use a not so nice tone of voice.

And, then I end up saying, “I’m sorry.”

I wish I didn’t have to say, “I’m sorry.”

I wish I just wouldn’t snap.

I wish I just had the desire and energy to be intimate..

I wish I just wouldn’t us a not so nice tone of voice.

I feel like I am being judged for not being a good enough wife. Partner. Mother.

And, I feel like I am failing at my job.

My job right now is to be a mother and a wife.

And, I feel like I am failing at both.

So, I craft.

And, I go thrifting.

Because it is what I am good at.

It’s what I get positive feedback for.

People say…

  • You find the greatest stuff.
  • You are so creative.
  • You are amazing.
  • How do you have time for all of this?

The fact of the matter is…I’m not sure I do.

If I spend my time doing what makes me feel good it seems that I fail at my job.

SEEMS.

I told you. I am feeling vulnerable.

Maybe I’m not failing.

Maybe it just SEEMS that way.

FEELS that way.

No matter what. It hurts.

It’s hard.

I want to be the best I can be at my job.

I really just want to be a good mom and wife.

About being a mother, I want to hear…YOU ARE AMAZING.

About being a wife, I want to hear…YOU ARE AMAZING.

{And, back to that dream I had the other night…}

It wasn’t about the bloggers at all.

It was about my family.

When I read other blogs written by other moms and wives…I know I am not alone.

I also know my feelings of vulnerability will be acknowledged by other moms and wives who read my blog.

I just feel like I am failing with my family.

Is it really possible to be a good mom and wife and still do the other things I am good at?

The things that feed my soul.

Do I really have time to do it all?

home is…don’t let appearances fool you.