baby steps, too

Sometimes I go down the rabbit hole of old blog posts. I have blogged since 2008 and there were many years that I blogged multiple times a week. I miss it.

This short post from November 2010 brought back so many memories…


Lately, it seems like things are very out of control in my life. A very busy 3 year old and a 1 year old who wants to keep up with her big brother keep this momma very busy.  My head is always spinning with what needs to get done, what I would like to get done, and what I have forgotten to get done.  Right when I feel like I have it all under control something happens (like a little guy getting sick, or a baby girl who is teething) and I just fall apart.

I have always been independent.

I am a control freak.

I don’t like to ask for help.

I hate the feeling of not being able to handle everything by myself.

Sometimes I feel all alone.

And, yet, I know I am not alone.

At any rate, i’m moving forward.  And, just like my baby girl who recently started walking, I am taking baby steps.


Recently, when talking with a family member who has a newborn and almost two year old I was reminded that there were times that I was barely making it through the days of being at home with two little ones. Somehow I made it through the lack of sleep and tireless physical exhaustion of taking care of little ones. I am so thankful that I was able to be with them everyday.

Lately, I miss those days. Those days filled with taking care of my babies.With both of my kids in school full time my job as “stay at home mom” has turned into more of a job of housecleaner and errand runner, which I am not very fond of.

They are away from home 6+ hours a day and I miss them. I miss how they filled my days.

The short time span I get with them each day after school is so full, but such a small amount of time with them.

They come home to do homework, and most days, want to play with friends as soon as that is done.

Some days there is a sports or school activity thrown in the mix.

Then dinner. Always dinner.It all seems so rushed. I miss the slow days of not having to be anywhere. And, just being together.

I absolutely love the people who my kids are becoming, but I miss being the one that got to spend my days with them.

This is an updated version of that blog post from 2010, 7 years later…

Lately, it seems like things are very out of control in my life. A very busy 10 year old and an 8 year old who wants to keep up with her big brother keep this momma very busy.  My head is always spinning with what needs to get done, what I would like to get done, and what I have forgotten to get done.  Right when I feel like I have it all under control something happens (like a little guy feeling left out, or a baby girl getting upset that she has to clean up messes) and I just fall apart.

I have always been independent, but spending the days by myself can be a bit lonely.

I like to be in control, but am learning that I am not in control of so many things…and it is hard.

I don’t like to ask for help, but there are also things I just don’t want to do and that I would rather have somebody help me with.

I hate the feeling of not being able to do everything well, but want to be able to do so much more.

Sometimes I feel all alone.

And, yet, I know I am not alone.

At any rate, I’m moving forward.  And, just like my kids who are taking more and more baby steps towards independence, I am taking baby steps, too.

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