When the beginning of 2016 came around, I had a plan for the year.
I reworked a website, made lists, sent e-mails, and thought I had it all under control.
February came around and I fell apart.
Comparison stole my joy.
I saw others who were doing what I wanted to do and wondered why I couldn’t just make it happen.
I beat myself up.
I stayed in bed.
I felt sorry for myself.
Then I saw signs…literally. One of my favorite artists is a sign maker. I have her signs all over my house. She posted a new one that was simple “Look for Signs”. Shortly after that, she posted one that read, “Be still and know”.
That’s when I knew. I had to let go and let God.
I had heard these words before. Heck, I had said these words before, but I hadn’t really put them into practice. I hadn’t put the “let God” part into practice. This time, He wouldn’t let me skip the “let God” part. You see, this is His plan, not mine. I was trying to control His plan. When I let go and gave Him control it was freeing.
Yes, MY plans are not taking shape the way I planned, but I believe that He has bigger plans for me.
I call myself a perpetual student of life.
If I could just got to classes and learn new things for the rest of my life I would be happy.
I love to learn new things.
In March, I decided that I was going to learn something new.
I decided that I was going to read the Bible.
At first, I thought I would follow a one year reading plan. I started in Genesis. I read through it in a day taking notes, highlighting, and trying to figure out the ancestry. Wow, people lived for a LONG time when God first made the earth.
Within a couple of days, the whole catching up to March in the one year plan felt daunting.
However, an instagram friend mentioned she was following a study of the Proverbs 31 Woman by Gretchen Saffles of Life Lived Beautifully on periscope. I purchased the study and followed along. This was perfect for my introvert heart. I felt like part of a community, but I didn’t have to interact face to face. You see, I love being in a classroom. I sit right in the front row, take great notes, and soak it all in, but I’ve never been great at class participation, group projects, or even socializing after class.
I followed and participated in that study for the next four weeks. I learned to give myself quiet time learning that part of the bible each day.
I let go of the plans I had made for myself and let God lead me to Him.
I’ve spent more time reading in the last few weeks than I have in years. In fact, just yesterday I started Big Magic in the afternoon and finished it late last night.
I’ve also read The Best Yes and Love Does. In reading both of those I took notes and highlighted like I was studying for a test.
I’ve continued reading the bible with additional bible studies I have purchased through Life Lived Beautifully.
I’m not sure what God has in store for me, but I’m willing to listen.
“…it seems that what God does most of the time when He has something to say is this…He doesn’t pass us messages, instead He passes us each other.”
– Bob Goff, Love Does