the home team

i wrote this post a little over a year ago and never hit publish.

today, i decided to hit publish on it.


i don’t have to single parent for the long haul very often anymore.

in ryan’s current job he only has long stretches of travel once or twice a year.

i am so thankful for that.

 

in hindsight…

maybe, during those really, really tough times when the kids were really little and  i was sending ryan nasty text and voicemail messages about how hard it was to be home alone with young kids and how tired and frustrated i was while he traveled for work, i should have thanked him for working his ass off to take care of our family so i could be home to take care of our kids.

and, maybe, i should have asked for help.

no, maybe, i should have screamed for help.

but i didn’t.

i struggled through it.

WE struggled through it.

it’s the curse of the competent…

you don’t ask for help {and write a blog that focuses on the good things in our life} and people don;t think you need it.

of course, family would be there for you if you lived closer, but you don’t, so they don’t see how hard it is.

so, you struggle through, and try to focus on the positive, so you can get through another day.

i’m thankful i made it through the really, really tough times.

i’m thankful WE made it through the really, really tough times.

i’m thankful i can be home to raise my kids.

i’m thankful that ryan works damn hard so that i can be here with them everyday.

i’m also thankful that the long trips are few and far between.

truthfully, i don’t need the help these days.

i did, but i don’t now.

and, you know what, even when i needed the help, i still did it myself.

WE did it.

our family is stronger for that.

thank you, ryan, for working your ass off.

WE do this together…no matter how hard it is.

home is…your home team.

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5 thoughts on “the home team

  1. Peggy says:

    Joel commuted to North Carolina for 9 months when Kara was a baby. He would be gone 2 weeks and then home for a day and a half. I was working full time. When we found out my mom had terminal cancer and I found myself going to Fort Collins every night after work and leaving early in the morning to drop Kara off at day care and then going to work, then spending the weekend in FC, I finally reached the breaking point and told Joel he had to come back. (He was only originally supposed to be in NC for 3 months). As a result, he lost his job and the pressure was even greater for me as the primary bread winner. Steph, I’m glad you pushed through this difficult time. The human spirit is a remarkable thing. You are doing a great job with those incredible, beautiful kids! Keep it up!

    • stephany @ home is what you make it says:

      thank you, aunt peggy. we all do what we can do with what we have. i am so thankful for the life that i live, and the experiences i can give my children. no two people live the same lives, but we all have our struggles. it’s how we find our way through them that matters. faith is an amazing thing.

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