I always have.
Here I am, working towards my fortieth birthday, and I still find myself trying to fit in.
Like going to the party in high school because you know all the “cool kids” will be there.
Not knowing what to say.
Not knowing how to act.
Hoping you can just fit in.
I never did.
Oh, I could hang for a little while, but eventually I did something to screw it up.
I never got too close, knowing it probably wouldn’t end well.
I still like to go to the party and try to fit in.
It’s still so uncomfortable.
And, not only is the party “in real life”, the party is online…
There’s a party every minute of every day.
And, I still don’t know where I fit in.
Oh, I can hang for a little while…
i just don’t get too close…
because it probably won’t end well.
But, I keep trying to fit in…
home is…like groundhog day.