pieces of me: november 2003

It’s been a while since I wrote my last {pieces of me} post.

It all started here and then this happened.

By the end of October we had seen that our little jellybean had a heartbeat. It was very early, but there was a flicker. We planned to keep it quiet until Christmas. By that time my mom would be done with her double mastectomy surgery and we could give everybody some happy Christmas news (and be through the 1st trimester).

We went in for another ultrasound in early November.

This time there wasn’t a heartbeat.

It was hard to understand. We hadn’t planned for a baby, but the news was finally exciting given that we had recently received such scary news about my mom. Why was this happening, too?!

We weren’t going to have happy Christmas news to share. In fact, we didn’t share any of the news.

We figured sharing the news of our loss would not be a good idea given what my family was dealing with due to my moms cancer.

I chose to not have a D&C. It was physically and emotionally painful.

What I knew for sure was that the life that was taken away from us was the angel that would now look over my mom and make sure that she would stay with us.

home is…angels to look over us.

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4 thoughts on “pieces of me: november 2003

  1. Ryan Taddeo says:

    This was NOT fun, but I do believe that all things happen for a reason and that some positive things came from this experience. Since that time we have been given the opportunity to support and empathize (not sympathize) with friends and family (too many unfortunately) that have also gone through a miscarriage. It’s amazing how many people go through a miscarriage, and I like to think that we were specially prepared to support them as they have.

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