Last week I attended my first Titus coffee at the church where the little guy attends preschool. As I wrote in this post, I was not brought up going to church. We went on occasion, but I think I was brought up to be more spiritual than believing in God.
I still don’t know where I stand. What I do believe is that there is something bigger than us out there…be it God, karma, the universe, whatever.
Back to the Titus coffee…
The subject was a controversial parenting subject which I won’t discuss in detail. There were proverbs quoted, talk about prayer and giving grace, and a lot of things that I did not understand. I had a hard time believing that the subject that we were talking about is actually what God wants us to do, but I was convinced that it might be an effective parenting technique.
All of that being said, I am thinking about turning to God right now. My marriage is being tested and strained, my parenting skills are tested on a daily basis (I am sure the kids are acting out because they feel the stress of mommy and poppa not enjoying eachothers company), there have been things that have happened to me and my loved ones that defy any worldly explanation, and I am trying to find balance in my life and struggle with it everyday (who doesn’t, right?).
I can “talk” to all of you about it here on this forum, but ask me to talk with somebody about it in person and I clam up (unless I am talking with my beloved “quack” of a marriage/personal counselor, Dr. Brown). I am afraid of being judged.
Will it help my marriage?
Will it help my parenting?
Will it help me find answers?
Will it help me find balance?
I don’t know.
What I do know is that doing what I am currently doing, Dr. Phil would probably ask me, “Now how’s that workin’ for ya’?”.
Is it possible to believe in God, but not believe in all the things the Bible teaches?
I read a lot of blogs written by Christian moms. I have a lot of friends who attend church regularly.
It’s worth a try, right?
Who knows…baby steps. Maybe another Titus coffee before I jump in.
home is…sometimes not knowing where to turn.